Jeopardwii

Jeopardy on Wii is fun. Ariel and I have probably played around 8 games and we haven’t had any repeats yet. There are lots of settings that can be changed, including difficulty, response time, signature, response method and sound. Also, you can play with your Mii character and dress them up some. My guy has a guitar on his shirt. Alex’s mouth doesn’t really line up with what he is saying though.

On similar terms, I watched the first 20 minutes of Dirty Harry and plan on watching the rest soon. It was good.

I watched Batman Forever today while doing homework and remembered it exactly as I thought I would remember it. The part where Robin gets pissed as Batman and starts hitting him crappily is weird.

– Phart

Official™ Renophaston Review: DC Comics: The New 52: Week 1

This is the first post in a series reviewing the new DC Comics “first” issues. For those who don’t know, DC Comics is releasing a bunch of comic books with “#1” on the cover. These will save the dying comic industry somehow, probably magically, because I haven’t seen anyone propose a different way.

I know what you’re thinking: 52 comics is a lot of comics. I completely agree. But you should probably not despair: We are here to help you. Which comics should you buy? What looks rad? Who’s the next break-out hit? How’s the comics are? Where is it? Why is it there? Do you have the time? We’ll answer all your questions, and more! By the end of this series, you’ll be an expert in being right about 52 specific comics. So let’s get this ball started!

Week 1: August 31, 2011

I didn’t buy Justice League, so I don’t know.

See you next week!

Tron Meets 40 minutes of Lenny + Bonus’ses

I saw Tron: Legacy and as Kris already knows I liked it. I want to get the soundtrack and listen to it. I got excited whenever they jumped “into” the light cycles or light jets. I tried it with my wiener and I ended up hurting my wiener.

In conclusion, I watched the first 38 minutes of Lenny, and was a little bored. Dustin Hoffman gave his best performance since Hook, but accidentally filmed Lenny about 20 years earlier.

Tron: Legacy – 4/5 stars
First 38 minutes of Lenny – 2.5/5

30 Words or More

A few hours ago I saw the movie 30 Minutes or Less and I don’t think they should have named it that. Or the title is more clever than I am.

So overall, I give the movie 3/4 stars. I liked it, but it wasn’t important or original. But it was funny and made me laugh a few times. And the theater had really comfortable chairs. But the popcorn was too salty.

So overall, I give the theater 3/4 stars. I liked the seats, but not the popcorn.

Cowboys and Aliens

should have been better. There are a lot of bad parts I want to point out, but you guys might see it sometime.

1.5/4 stars

So to summarize, I give it 1.5/4 stars.

Alien Cow [Image un-embedded by the management because Reno doesn’t want to anger people. Embedding stuff from somebody else’s server is rude because it uses their bandwidth for your stuff. You can upload pictures to WordPress, though! Also, his name is Cad Bane, not “Alien Cow”. Haven’t you seen everything ever made that has to do with Star Wars?]

Renophaston’s live report from SDCC 2011

Oh shit, I forgot I was at San Diego Comic Con this year again! This time I took a boat.

AAARRRGGGG BOATS!!!

First I hotel, then my tickets, all the while I was lost… but the food! OMG TMI! Buses, taxi, TRAM? jk! No time for a drink–had to get going. Found the thing, I did it, but barely. Phew! Long story short.

Here’s everything that happened all weekend:

• Star Trek and Legion of Superheroes are crossing over! This seemed like a obvious match, until I realized that the two series take place 750 years apart. I can’t imagine them adding time travel to these properties, so I don’t know what they’re going to do.
• Mega Man Legends 3 is canceled! Poot! Since this was the one reason I chose this era for my current incarnation, I might as well head back to the Eternal Spirit Pool and try sometime else.
• Marvel asks people to tear up DC comics for variants again, this time without the Deadpool excuse. It’s like seeing somebody try to re-tell a joke they don’t understand, except they were the ones who originally told the joke.
• There’s a Wolverine in the back of Hall H giving out free donuts if you can pick them up with your penis! Move fast, he’s almost out! (It’s easier than it looks.)
• Cable is dead-ish, but he’s coming back. Anybody who thinks Cable should come back already, this one’s for you. Unless you care about quality or whatever.
• DC Comics continues with year 7 of their Tough Sell! initiative, removing iconic characters from their books or altering them so that they are unrecognizable to old fans and new readers alike! The first few years everybody kept reading, expecting their favorite characters to return to greatness, but lately readers have started to catch on, and DC’s sales have shown a steady drop–so they’re going line-wide with the initiative! With any luck, by this time next year DC’s sales numbers will be so low they will finally have an excuse to stop publishing these damned comic books!
• Beavis & Butt-Head are back, and they’re exactly the same, and I don’t know whether I think anything about that at all. After the panel, though, I went to shake hands with Johnny Knoxville and I accidentally grabbed his penis and he knocked me out. Later people told me it was actually a door that opened towards me, and that I seemed “totally out of it”. Star-struck, more likely!
• There’s a Dwayne McDuffie panel even though I don’t think he’s done anything new in like five months.
• Tin Tin looks weird.
• I think Dan DiDio is making fun of me for liking comics, and I’m not even really in San Diego.
• DC has fixed the long-standing problem of Barry Allen being the worst Flash by making him the only Flash. Now he’s the best Flash!
• If you Google Translate from Latin to English, “Quid Pro Quo” becomes “What Happens In Vegas”. Which is not accurate.
• Oh I almost forgot! Here’s a photo of me and The Cheat from the show floor that I made with crayons:

Friends at first bite!

I went as Sporty Spice this year, because she’s pregnant and so am I!

Alex is anti-illegal

Check this ish** out.

Terri, the movie.

SPOILER ALERT!!  This review might alert some spoilers.

I saw the movie Terri today, starring the famous John C. Reily and the not famous other people.  First of all, before we get to the movie review, I should review the theat(re) I saw it in.  The California is a Landmark theater and I got a $2 discount because I have a SJSU ID card.  The popcorn is not made with peanut oil and the medium was too big for my face.  I liked the place.

Terri was anyway from ok to good.  I’m not sure what I think yet.  John(ny) C (B) Reily(Good) was really good, and the main kid was good.  Tim Heidecker was in one scene and was either good or I can’t tell because I can’t tell.

At the end of the movie I thought ‘yeah.’  There was a long scene near the end that made me slightly uncomfortable, but ended with me thinking ‘huh.’

At the moment I give it 3/5 stars.  Good because John C Reily, Creed Bratton and Jacob Wysocki were good.  Eh because it felt like it was the intro to a movie to me.

Next time – something else.

Willow: A Review.

Totally pretty good. At the end when everything gets all sweaty and bloody and weird it still weirds me out. It also weirds me out every time Willow tries to magically shape shift that sorcerer woman back into a human. And when all the warriors get turned into pigs. And when Mad Martigan steps in troll poo. Every part of the movie kinda weirds me out a little.

Here are a list of ways that it is like The Lord of the Rings:

I mean here IS a list:

A tiny person from an isolated village full of tiny people who just like to dance and eat and gossip is the main character.

The good guys are trying to bring something somewhere, and at the same time the bad guys are trying to bring it to pretty much the same place.

That might be about it.

Warwick Davis was 18 when he made the movie.

Exclusive Preview of Justice League #2!

We’re honored to get an exclusive preview page from issue two of the nu Justice League series! It looks pretty bad. Click to see it full size!

Here’s the solicitation information:

JUSTICE LEAGUE #2
Written by GEOFF JOHNS in his spare time
Art and cover by JIM LEE and SCOTT WILLIAMS, possibly
1:25 Variant cover by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO
1:200 B&W variant cover for some reason
On sale LATE and with DIFFERENT CONTENTS
Around 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T by default
Retailers: This issue will ship with three covers. Please order more than you can sell.
This is it! The throw-down, take-out, brawl-o-rama you’ve been waiting for since next month! This is like nothing you’ve seen before! One of these characters will die… IF HE (OR SHE!) LIVES THAT LONG! You’ve never seen comics like this! No! Shut up! We are reinvigorating the medium!

The actual plot blurb is this:

“What happens when the World’s Greatest Detective takes on the world’s most powerful alien? You’ll find out when Batman and Superman throw down. Batman will need all his intellect, cunning and physical prowess to take on The Man of Steel.”

So dull. “Superman and Batman will fight, and Batman will need to try if he’s going to win.”

BONUS!! Whoever notices the major mistake I made while taking the pictures wins nothing.

Official™ Renophaston review of Resident Evil: Afterlife

I saw Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D last Friday, but I enjoyed it! Alice is back, and she’s here to change the world! (This may sound like a reference to Captain EO, the first 3D movie I ever saw, but really she just has a gun that shoots coins.)

Spoilers ahead, but they might be inaccurate because it was a few days ago that I saw this, and my memory sucks.

The Good:

You all remember that my biggest problem with Resident Evil: Extinction was its lack of water. Well, this movie made up for that with spades to spare! Paul W.S. Anderson, the director of the first Resident Evil is back, and he brought with him what made the first movie great. I mean, this movie starts in the rain!** There’s a beach, burst water pipes, a lake. This one time, the main characters were underwater for like five minutes, and also there was a boat. And it wasn’t just some throwaway boat reference; it was a major plot point! It’s obvious Anderson understood where the franchise went adrift after he left, and thankfully he returned to set it back on course. Aquaman ain’t got shit on this movie, other than his powers.

** Not to be confused with Rain Ocampo, Michelle Rodriguez’ character from the first Resident Evil movie… or is it? Aside from RE, Michelle Rodriguez is best known for her role on Lost, a TV show about an island (surrounded by water, of course). Coincidence? Let’s examine the rest of her oeuvre. She followed up Resident Evil with a surfer movie called Blue Crush. Then she played Chris Sanchez in S.W.A.T., “Sanchez” of course coming from the Spanish for “sanctified”, which to Christians brings to mind the Baptismal rite, cleansing the soul with water. Later she voiced a Marine in the popular video game Halo 2. Then in 2005, she played Katarin (in the same year that Hurricane Katrina flooded the Gulf Coast) in another video game adaptation called BloodRayne. Then she starred in a movie called Battle in Seattle, Seattle being known colloquially as “Rain City“. It’s hard to believe the director was unaware of these facts during filming. Oh, and the last movie I saw in theaters before RE:A? Machete. Who was in it? Michelle Rodriguez. (“Michelle”, incidentally, is the feminine form of “Michael”, a name which comes from the archangel Michael, who is known for (among other things) drawing water from the rock at Colossae.)

Also: Zombies! I didn’t know this movie was gonna have zombies! If someone told me this movie was gonna have zombies, I’d have believed them, but nobody did because I don’t have any friends.

The Bad:

Iron Man 2. What a piece of shit. If I had a dollar for every time I saw this “film”, I’d still be out five bucks.

Water and co-star Ali Larter in RE:A

The Ugly:

They introduced Chris Redfield in this movie, which was exciting for some reason. He spent a good chunk of the movie locked in a jail cell. I thought it was funny because in an infamous line from the first game, Barry calls Chris “the master of unlocking“, and here he was locked up. Ha! But then I remembered that it’s Jill Valentine who’s the master of unlocking. So pfft. Nevermind. Chris was in that game, though, and with Chris’ appearance in the movies, we’ve finally come full circle, and ended up in a completely different place.

Aside: I gotta admit, you guys–references to the past take me back. I can’t believe I beat that game. Everything about it was annoying. I give it an “F” for Effort. “Survival Horror”? More like “Survival Horrible Game”!

Still, it had Zombies.

Alaskan water... brr!

The Verdict:

Lets go down the list:

• Zombies? Check.
• Action? Check.
• Dimensions? Check, check… and check. (that’s 3; last one had 2)
• Multiple Jovoviches? (Jovovichlones?) Check.
• Water? More than you can count!

This movie has everything for everybody, and unlike the those big shot “movie” critics, I think that’s enough. I want to say it’s the best Resident Evil movie with the initials REA, but I can’t really remember Apocalypse. Maybe it was good? And what if the next movie is called like Resident Evil: Attrition or something and it’s great? Can’t take that chance! But I’ll give this one four tens out of five!

Out of a hundred.

Full disclosure: I tried not to let it color my review, but I should mention that there was something wrong at my theater, and stuff kept falling out of the movie. Ba-ding chang!

The final word: Resident Evil: Afterlife brought the rotting corpse of the Resident Evil franchise back to theaters!

water + beach = match made in heaven (except I hate beaches)

Dirty Bible Riddle

What’s Onan’s favorite spice?

I came up with this when I saw some ground cumin.