Exclusive Preview of Justice League #2!

We’re honored to get an exclusive preview page from issue two of the nu Justice League series! It looks pretty bad. Click to see it full size!

Here’s the solicitation information:

JUSTICE LEAGUE #2
Written by GEOFF JOHNS in his spare time
Art and cover by JIM LEE and SCOTT WILLIAMS, possibly
1:25 Variant cover by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO
1:200 B&W variant cover for some reason
On sale LATE and with DIFFERENT CONTENTS
Around 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T by default
Retailers: This issue will ship with three covers. Please order more than you can sell.
This is it! The throw-down, take-out, brawl-o-rama you’ve been waiting for since next month! This is like nothing you’ve seen before! One of these characters will die… IF HE (OR SHE!) LIVES THAT LONG! You’ve never seen comics like this! No! Shut up! We are reinvigorating the medium!

The actual plot blurb is this:

“What happens when the World’s Greatest Detective takes on the world’s most powerful alien? You’ll find out when Batman and Superman throw down. Batman will need all his intellect, cunning and physical prowess to take on The Man of Steel.”

So dull. “Superman and Batman will fight, and Batman will need to try if he’s going to win.”

BONUS!! Whoever notices the major mistake I made while taking the pictures wins nothing.

Blackest Night in Four Panels

Did anything happen in this series? I think it was just a whole lot of people getting new powers and then losing them, and then everybody’s okay at the end. Reading it was like watching someone play with action figures.

Reading my comic, on the other hand, is like watching someone go, “Dolls are for fags, retard”, and then later he cries because his parents won’t buy him any. Gah, I’m just mad that people liked this more than Final Crisis. Final Crisis was awesome! Blackest Night was so boring! I don’t get why people love it so much! It’s not fair! Wah!

I should get Geoff Johns to sign this at WonderCon.

Also: My Aquaman looks like you’d get greasy just looking at him. Gives me cooties.

Supes On… Social Networking!

Supermans Red and Blue learn that there’s more to a person than the type of music they like and what their favorite TV show is… except when there isn’t.

Renophaston sez, “If you take away all my stuff, I won’t have anything at all.“

Link-Ups: The Link Team-Up Comic!

LINK-UPS #1
Written by KRIS L-B
Art and cover by KRIS L-B
4-ish PGS./FC/Rated AR …FREE!
From comics-shattering superstar Kris L-B (SUPES ON, COMEDIX) comes LINK-UPS, a brand-new non-going series showcasing Link team-ups throughout his career! Described as “the most disturbing thing [Kris has] ever written” by Stert (A DAY IN THE DEATH), LINK-UPS is “Lost” with a “Wainy Days” twist! A date goes horribly wrong when Octoroks come crashing! Can a child and a monkey from two different games make love work despite unbeatable odds? What happened to AiAi? And what will Zelda say? None of these questions and more will be answered in this fourish-page, fully-illustrated, totally unauthorized comics crossover event of the year!* Featuring MeeMee!

Retailers please note: This issue will ship with 3 2/3 covers. For every 25 copies of the Standard Edition (the correctly printed cover), retailers may order one copy of the Reversed Variant Edition (printed backwards and unreadable). For every 250 copies of the Standard Edition, retailers may order one copy of the Green Variant Edition (printed without magenta ink) and 2/3 copy of the Printer Jam Variant Edition (ripped and crumpled). Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

* Last year. I made this for Internet as a birthday present in 2008, but forgot to put it up here.

Issue #2 coming in ur buttholes!

Supermans visit Jerkcity

In this week’s installment of Supes On, Supermans Red and Blue take a trip to a poor imitation of Jerkcity. Click here or on the image above to see how it went!

Supes On… the Afterlife!

Supermans Red and Blue meet in our backyard the way it used to be to ponder the afterlife! Ding-a-ling-a-ling! Supes On!

I hope Batman’s not so mean after he dies.

An Overdue Introduction

I was wondering, do you have my penis in hard copy? I checked your rack, but I couldn’t find it. Think I could get an interlibrary moan?

IM IN UR EYEZ, FOOLIN THEM.

I have done the impossible: I have become even lamer! I did this by making a lolbatman. But not just any lolbatman—a 3-D stereoscopic lolbatman. Using action figures. Unfortunately, it doesn’t fit here, so you have to click on the image below, which will take you to flickr. I suggest clicking on “all sizes” to get the big one, but you’re not the boss of me!

IMPORTANT: Cross your eyes to put a hole in your monitor! (And don’t get too close.) Even if you’re one of those people who can do that parallel vision thing like you’re supposed to, cross your eyes! Doing it the other way voids your warranty! Now click it!

BTW, Batman is just doing a trick; he doesn’t actually have superpowers. If you can’t figure it out, ask Stu. He’s a magician.

Supes On… Sexual Harassment!

In this new weekly series, Supermans Red and Blue meet in our backyard the way it used to be to discuss the big issues! Get your buns ready, because Supes On!

How stupid of me was it to use white for my “green” screen? Answer: 80%. Cutting out those electricities is really tedious. I think next time I’ll never do it again!

It’s Ho-Ho-Halloween!

I needed something for Halloween, so I barfed up this shitty comic. There’s no joke, I don’t think it makes sense, and the balloon tails are inconsistent. I hate it. Happy Halloween! I’m gonna kill you!

(BTW, that’s an open door between them.)

Somehow, the original ending was even less interesting—check it out:

ALTERNALTE (sic) PANEL 3:
SUP: Do you want a regular paper bag?
HAL: {sob} Uhh… I guess. {sniff}
SUP: … Do you want to just have some candy?
HAL: Yeah.

Note that again I make a comic that doesn’t work in continuity; Hal hasn’t been vulnerable to yellow since he came back, and Superman moved in with us while Hal was dead.

And I put some crappy slime or something on our header. Hope it didn’t scare you! Ahh!!

Coping

Data is coping with the loss of a colleague.

Who do you think he means by “we”?

Hal Jordan and Star Sapphire: Getting Desperate

Hal comes off a bit judgmental in this one. I think a woman’s body is a right to choose.

Sorry about the lack of shadows. You’d be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t) how often these guys cast shadows that look like penises. Or at least that remind me of penises.

If the last panel didn’t mean anything to you (but you want it to), The Absorbascon will help you out.