Renophaston’s live report from SDCC 2011

Oh shit, I forgot I was at San Diego Comic Con this year again! This time I took a boat.

AAARRRGGGG BOATS!!!

First I hotel, then my tickets, all the while I was lost… but the food! OMG TMI! Buses, taxi, TRAM? jk! No time for a drink–had to get going. Found the thing, I did it, but barely. Phew! Long story short.

Here’s everything that happened all weekend:

• Star Trek and Legion of Superheroes are crossing over! This seemed like a obvious match, until I realized that the two series take place 750 years apart. I can’t imagine them adding time travel to these properties, so I don’t know what they’re going to do.
• Mega Man Legends 3 is canceled! Poot! Since this was the one reason I chose this era for my current incarnation, I might as well head back to the Eternal Spirit Pool and try sometime else.
• Marvel asks people to tear up DC comics for variants again, this time without the Deadpool excuse. It’s like seeing somebody try to re-tell a joke they don’t understand, except they were the ones who originally told the joke.
• There’s a Wolverine in the back of Hall H giving out free donuts if you can pick them up with your penis! Move fast, he’s almost out! (It’s easier than it looks.)
• Cable is dead-ish, but he’s coming back. Anybody who thinks Cable should come back already, this one’s for you. Unless you care about quality or whatever.
• DC Comics continues with year 7 of their Tough Sell! initiative, removing iconic characters from their books or altering them so that they are unrecognizable to old fans and new readers alike! The first few years everybody kept reading, expecting their favorite characters to return to greatness, but lately readers have started to catch on, and DC’s sales have shown a steady drop–so they’re going line-wide with the initiative! With any luck, by this time next year DC’s sales numbers will be so low they will finally have an excuse to stop publishing these damned comic books!
• Beavis & Butt-Head are back, and they’re exactly the same, and I don’t know whether I think anything about that at all. After the panel, though, I went to shake hands with Johnny Knoxville and I accidentally grabbed his penis and he knocked me out. Later people told me it was actually a door that opened towards me, and that I seemed “totally out of it”. Star-struck, more likely!
• There’s a Dwayne McDuffie panel even though I don’t think he’s done anything new in like five months.
• Tin Tin looks weird.
• I think Dan DiDio is making fun of me for liking comics, and I’m not even really in San Diego.
• DC has fixed the long-standing problem of Barry Allen being the worst Flash by making him the only Flash. Now he’s the best Flash!
• If you Google Translate from Latin to English, “Quid Pro Quo” becomes “What Happens In Vegas”. Which is not accurate.
• Oh I almost forgot! Here’s a photo of me and The Cheat from the show floor that I made with crayons:

Friends at first bite!

I went as Sporty Spice this year, because she’s pregnant and so am I!