Possible ghost? Please refute.

Calling all ghost-hunters, UFO-perts, and necrophiliacs, and I’m serious about this.  Going through some boxes, I found this photo I made took a few years ago (January 27, 2001). Flickr has the full-size version. (Sorry about the watermark, but I don’t want people taking credit in case it’s real.)

Reel ghost proof? Choose your <em>own</em> adventure.

Reel ghost proof? Choose your own adventure.

Do you see that? On the left. Does it look like a spirit/ghost to you?  I can tell it’s not just some trick, because it doesn’t cast light on the walls.  I don’t know of anything natural that can do that.  Also, when I open the picture up in Photoshop, the spirit is on different layer than the background!  How did that happen?!? My camera (Canon Powershot S10) is too old to support layers. Was there some kind of top-secret military test going on on 1/27/2001? God I hope so. And on the left, look:

Spirit portal?

Spirit portal?

WTF, is that a spirit portal or something? This is freaking me out. And check out this closeup:

Spirit face comparison.

Spirit face comparison.

That’s a face, right? It kind of… looks like me, doesn’t it? Oh jeez…

Anyway, I made a decision a few years back to not believe in ghosts, so I’d really appreciate it if someone could explain this. Hopefully before Halloween. All the experts I’ve contacted refuse to talk to me about it. Is it a weather balloon? I don’t even know!

Sincerely,
Sleepless in Seattle

P.S. – Please vote below, even if you don’t know the answer. A bigger sample size increases accuracy. Hint: you can vote more than once!

UPDATE: The results are in! But don’t let that stop you from voting! Remember—It’s never too late to vote!

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April Fools!

Seriously.

I voted!

I voted… I guess.

Everybody was acting like we were voting. I might have voted.

My Krismas List 2007 (by Renophaston)

Krismas Hat I don’t celebrate Christmas, and I hate presents, but if I found God at a garage sale or something and rubbed it and the Christmas genie came out, this is what I’d ask for:

  • Superman
  • Courage
  • A (direct-to-DVD?) new season of Firefly
  • An HDTV set that shows standard-def stuff as well as our current (SD) TV does
  • A high-quality video recording of the 2003-08-08 Björk show I attended in SF
  • Dramatically reduced maximum occupancy at Disneyland
  • Whirled Penis
  • Tickets to the San Jose show of the Spice Girls reunion tour, and I guess also a time machine so that I didn’t miss it already. Or wait, even better: I want the Spice Girls to call me tomorrow and go, “Hey, we read what you wrote about us on your Krismas blog, and we thought it was effing brilliant and we’d all like to meet you so we got you tickets to each of the New York shows in New York and we rented a whole floor of whatever the best hotel in NY is and we’ll all just hang out there (but we’ll leave you alone if you want) and we can get pizza or whatever!” And I’d be like, “OK, but I don’t know if I can get a ride.” And they’re like, “Fuck that, mate, we bought you a couple Air Force Ones! Zig-a-zig-ah.” The only bad thing about this would be that I don’t have every one of either of the Melanies’ albums, so that would be awkward, especially if I was to get them to autograph them. Still, I’m keeping this on my list. I can deal with a little bit of awkward. And it’s not like I don’t want them, it’s just I don’t have them yet. Yet. Oh man, you know what else I would want? I would want the opportunity to completely rewrite Spice World and have them remake it using my script. I think I could make a pretty fantastic movie about the Spice Girls. As long as the suits stay out of my goddamn way! Man, right now I’m tempted to write it anyway. In fact, I think this will be that project that I’ll always be working on but I’ll never finish, and it’ll become a running joke amongst the people who know me. All four of them. “Did you finish Spice Whirled yet?” “Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, it’s almost done!” (For the record, I would still settle for just the San Jose tickets and a time machine.)
  • Captain E/O on DVD, but somehow still in 3-D without using that red/blue bullshit. Laserdisc would also be acceptable, so long as it still has the original laser and fog effects. (This one might be tough.)
  • Invisibility, and the power to control it! Nothing would ruin my Krismas like making me disappear without a way to change me back. That would be a singular Krismas.
  • You know, since the Spice Girls thing, I can’t stop thinking about how it would still be cool to have even just the time machine by itself. So, if you can’t get the tix, at least get the time machine. But this is, like, a runner-up gift. Half-credit.
  • A lightsaber (of course)

Hmm. This ended up a lot more honest than I was expecting it to when I started.

So anyway, if you appreciate the entertainment I provide here on this blog (for free!), please consider purchasing all of these items for me. Cash donations over $1000 will also be (grudgingly) accepted. Email me your snail-mail address and I’ll fax you a location where you can make the drop. Then, in the comments, tell me what you want me to get for Krismas!

Merry Chr—Krismas! Shit. I almost fucked that up!

Blog Stats, Part 1

Here’s some important information concerning which topics we are considered to be knowledgeable authorities on:

So I think this means that we should start selling waterproof band-aids?

Here’s the part where I try to help people who got here searching for something but probably didn’t find an answer:

  • “213 meaning rap” – I believe 213 refers to the Los Angeles area code in which the group originated.
  • “tube pee comes out of” – It is called the urethra. Or possibly you mean the penis.

Bothering Stuart Stert with Spiders

Two of this spider was in our pool I guess? Ants are eating it. Mom said its “ball” used to be bigger. I am inclined to believe her.

The Cost of Dying

Together Forever

Viewing larger images will increase the apparent size. The dime is there for scale, but if you can come up with more entertaining reasons for its presence, you’re welcome to them.

Blog Action Day: Take back the environment!

It has come to my attention that I may have misunderstood the topic for today’s Blog Action Day in my earlier post. We’re supposed to talk about the planet or something. Second time’s the charm.

Earth, which has fed us, nurtured us and acted as our sanctuary for hundreds of years, has turned on us. All of the sudden it has decided that we’re “not doing it right”, and it is punishing us. It is letting more and more of the harmful rays of the sun (our nemesis in the skies) through the atmosphere to burn us! It is keeping pollutants from naturally escaping to space, suffocating us with our own waste! It is taking away our oil and hiding it underground! But threats like global “warning” don’t work on us, not here in America! I think it’s time to take back the environment! I think it’s time to show Earth that it doesn’t own us. We are the human race. We are living, feeling beings with hopes and dreams, and we are as good and deserving of liberty as any other living thing, planets included (but not animals). It’s time to dig ourselves out of the earth that has kept our potential buried for so long.

I’m not saying it will be easy—Earth has some powerful weapons at its disposal, and it will not give up its position of power without a fight. But we have something it doesn’t have: plastic. Earth tried for thousands of years before humans arrived on the scene, but could never achieve the perfection and permanence that is the plastic bag. Everything in nature is transient; creatures are born and die, seasons come and go, species evolve only to become extinct—but plastic is forever. We are forever. In plastic, we have achieved something Earth never could: eternal life. We have to show Earth that we are not its property. We are its backbone. Without us, it is nothing. Without us, it will die. But with us, it can endure unto the ends of time.

That is why I humbly suggest my brilliant idea: Plastic Industry Stoppage to Show Earth Day (PISSED). As you can probably guess, on this day (date TBD), all plastic production will cease for 24 hours (all day), to show Earth what it’s like without us. While this one day will not have a great impact on an industry as large as Earth, it will be an obvious spike that will send a message, and that message is this: “Without us, you will fade; but together we can change the world.”

Also, “bloggers” sounds a bit like “loggers” (people who cut down and collect trees), and I think that is probably something we should change? But I don’t know; that might be impossible. We might have to reinstall the Internet or something.