I’m a director now!

I learned how to edit video!

It’s Ho-Ho-Halloween!

I needed something for Halloween, so I barfed up this shitty comic. There’s no joke, I don’t think it makes sense, and the balloon tails are inconsistent. I hate it. Happy Halloween! I’m gonna kill you!

(BTW, that’s an open door between them.)

Somehow, the original ending was even less interesting—check it out:

ALTERNALTE (sic) PANEL 3:
SUP: Do you want a regular paper bag?
HAL: {sob} Uhh… I guess. {sniff}
SUP: … Do you want to just have some candy?
HAL: Yeah.

Note that again I make a comic that doesn’t work in continuity; Hal hasn’t been vulnerable to yellow since he came back, and Superman moved in with us while Hal was dead.

And I put some crappy slime or something on our header. Hope it didn’t scare you! Ahh!!

Halloween Trix

That time of year.

Every Link Has Its Week

• Gabe & Max’s Internet Thing – I’m pretty sure this is entertaining. Like 70% sure.
• NadShot.com – Just in time for Halloween: here are some comic book characters “pulling a wolfman”!
• Two Hulks Halloween House – Just in time for Halloween: two Hulks Halloween House. ‘Nuff said!
• Disney Concept Art – Just in time for Halloween: the emotion we’re going for is “ride”.

We are currently Google’s number one search result for anus burn from food. Someone searched for that one.  And got us.

Also, the date for “Plastic Industry Stoppage to Show Earth Day” has been set, and it was October 20th, 2007. It went pretty poorly and I don’t think we’ll be doing it again.

Look! Part III: State of Shock

(My Impression of Myself)

I put pictures of other members of my family here.

Look! Part II: Lookin’ Good

Stert Does a Movie Review: Rockin’ Mother Goose

Remember when you were a child? Remember? Now think back to being a child. Remember watching TV as a child? Think back to the TV you watched as a child. Did you watch Rockin’ Mother Goose? Maybe? You can’t remember? Oh. Here’s a review.

I watched this a long time ago, and then I watched it the other day on youtube.com. Here it is: http://youtube.com/watch?v=naIGGZf1TdY

This movie is terrifiying and PACKED FULL of sex jokes. Like every other line for the first half hour is a sex pun/joke/in-your-end-o. And it comes pretty close to feeling like my bad dreams feel. Like, maybe my bad dreams are the way they are BECAUSE of this movie (The reason I use all caps is cause I don’t want to take the time to figure out how to use italics).

The casting is the only thing that is good about the movie. Stand-out performances include Woody Harrelson as Mary’s little lamb. The guy from nightcourt is also very weird to watch as Peter Piper. And I wonder if Little Richard knew he was making a movie.

4/10 starts.

Look!

This Week in Kris: LINKS!

• Van Halen plays Jump terribly – but they make it through the whole thing! This is fantastic. Nothing else this week is anywhere close to this good.
• LEGO’d video game scenes – They’re really well done, but they’re not that entertaining to stare at.
• www.isitchristmas.com
• Goatse on a credit card – NSFW? Maybe. Holiday appropriate? Definitely. Kind of.

And just because this stuff continues to amuse me: someone got here by searching for “spirits of lemon plumbing“. We are currently Google search result #1 for that query, but I don’t think we have any information about it.

Coping

Data is coping with the loss of a colleague.

Who do you think he means by “we”?

Kris Links to MiceAge.com

Welcome to a special “one-link” edition of Kris’s Weekly Links Show!

• Disney is spending a billion dollars on Californialand – Here’s a poor explanation of some highlights:
  • They’re redoing the entrance to make it like Los Angeles in the 1920s (when Walt got there). Also to make it not just a shitty slab of concrete.
  • They’re redoing Paradise Pier to make it different somehow. Like old or something? Also more Disney/Pixar, less California.
  • They’re going to replace some stairs with a show where they shine lights on water (“and mist”).
  • Mulholland Madness is turning into Goofy’s Flying Academy, and I have no idea what that means.
  • A new $100 million Little Mermaid ride, since that film took place in California, and has numerous ties to the area. Still… new Little Mermaid ride… I would ride it. (She told me to say that for her.) I think it’s gonna be where Golden Dreams is now.
  • They’re adding 12 acres to the park to make a new area, and they’re calling it “Cars Land”, themed to match the Pixar movie, can you believe it. It’s strangely two words, and “cars” is plural. It sounds retarded. At least it doesn’t have a trademark symbol in the middle. It’ll have a Cars ride that sounds alright. And: it will have the old Flying Saucer ride! Except with hubcaps instead of saucers, but it’s the same thing. Dad, are you hearing this? Prepare to have your fond memories realified.
  • And some other stuff. They’re probably replacing Muppet Vision with Philharmagic, which sucks a big lot. And they’re getting rid of the Maliboomer, which sucks a little.

Blog Stats, Part 1

Here’s some important information concerning which topics we are considered to be knowledgeable authorities on:

• This blog is Google search result #2 for “punch them hard in the throat“
• #3 (and 4) for rap bad grammar
• #3 for high anus
• #2 for middle anus
• #1 for low anus
• #1 for fuck joysticks
• #1 for linguistic boner
• #1 for waterproof band-aid

So I think this means that we should start selling waterproof band-aids?

Here’s the part where I try to help people who got here searching for something but probably didn’t find an answer:

• “213 meaning rap” – I believe 213 refers to the Los Angeles area code in which the group originated.
• “tube pee comes out of” – It is called the urethra. Or possibly you mean the penis.