Welcome!

Recently, the Xbox 360 RRoD’d, and we sent it to Microsoft and they sent us one that still worked. This is the bag it came back to us in:

Here’s a detail shot of the text covering the bag:

'Welcome' in a bunch of languages.

???

What this blog is about

Here’s a screencap from Technorati’s page about kristuphil is telling you:

Link-Ups: The Link Team-Up Comic!

LINK-UPS #1
Written by KRIS L-B
Art and cover by KRIS L-B
4-ish PGS./FC/Rated AR …FREE!
From comics-shattering superstar Kris L-B (SUPES ON, COMEDIX) comes LINK-UPS, a brand-new non-going series showcasing Link team-ups throughout his career! Described as “the most disturbing thing [Kris has] ever written” by Stert (A DAY IN THE DEATH), LINK-UPS is “Lost” with a “Wainy Days” twist! A date goes horribly wrong when Octoroks come crashing! Can a child and a monkey from two different games make love work despite unbeatable odds? What happened to AiAi? And what will Zelda say? None of these questions and more will be answered in this fourish-page, fully-illustrated, totally unauthorized comics crossover event of the year!* Featuring MeeMee!

Retailers please note: This issue will ship with 3 2/3 covers. For every 25 copies of the Standard Edition (the correctly printed cover), retailers may order one copy of the Reversed Variant Edition (printed backwards and unreadable). For every 250 copies of the Standard Edition, retailers may order one copy of the Green Variant Edition (printed without magenta ink) and 2/3 copy of the Printer Jam Variant Edition (ripped and crumpled). Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

* Last year. I made this for Internet as a birthday present in 2008, but forgot to put it up here.

Issue #2 coming in ur buttholes!

Legend of (the) POG: The Remake?

Well. That looks… different. It’s going direct-to-DVD, which isn’t surprising. Doesn’t look like there’s going to be a VHS version. Here’s the synopsis from Lionsgate (via bloody-disgusting.com):

When a 2000-year old mummified murder victim – a Pog Body – is inadvertently disturbed, he rises from the dead. Mummified for retribution and trapped for eternity, his body is unable to decay and his soul is unable to reach heaven or hell. As this Pog Body returns to life, he wreaks havoc on a local group of strangers who unwittingly share a guilty secret. Alone in the dark, they are met with misfortune as this mysterious victim seeks vengeance on their dark past.

Looks like they’re doing an “Evil Dead 2″ sequel/remake thing. The “Pog Body” is obviously Burp, except now he’s traveled to the future as a mummy rather than via the (admittedly cheesy) time portal of the original. It seems they’ve played pretty loose with the rest of the characters (they went too young with Eddy, IMO, and did they combine the Smedleys?!?), but I’ll try to withhold judgment until I’ve seen more. Gotta say I’m pretty happy with Vinnie Jones as Herbie, though. Wouldn’t have thought of it in a million years, but it works!

L: Vinnie R: Herbie... or is it the other way around?

The trailer is embedded below. Check out 1:06 for a scene that I think will make Tor/Smedley ’shippers pretty happy! (BTW, the “original” title you’ll see in the trailer was “Pog Bodies” (ech!) but they thankfully came to their senses and came back to the (almost) original “Legend of the POG”.)

Anyway, June 9th, 2009—mark your calendars! The comments are open—what do you think?

Presidential Protuberance

In the fourth episode of The Super Milk Chan Show (”The Return of the Young Master from the Planet”), the President (definitely) is abducted by aliens and cloned as a food supply. Why should you care? Because they show him naked. Here’s my question:

Is that a penis or a belly button?

If you think it's a nose, then where's the mouth?

Stand up for your beliefs, and VOTE!

I’m not sure why, but I made it so you can vote for more than one. If you think it’s something else, post it in the comments, because I’m pretty sure all the options in the poll are wrong.

Take a stand for non-violent marriage!

In the spirit of Rick Warren bravely admitting that he doesn’t think marriage should include incest, I am also going to take a stand:

I am against redefining marriage to include tax fraud and arson.

If people could use “marriage” as an excuse to blow up buildings, then what’s keeping you from blowing your dad? Not the government. Not “self-restraint”. Certainly not THE JEWS. But that’s just the beginning—the next thing you know, your college degree is worthless and the price of gas changes. Wake up, DUMerica. It’s time for action—just look at the stock market!

As the late hunger enthusiast Mohandas Gandhi said, “Аз не съм свободен, освен ако другите са роби.” (”I am not free, but that others are bound.”) A people is only as free as it is oppressed. If everybody has rights, what’s so big about YOURS?

Will you join me in opposing things, or are you a fag?

EDIT: Wow! I sure voted a lot of times! But it’s still neck and tie, so it’s anybody’s draw! And keep this on for size while you’re voting: California has a history of supporting gay rights, and look where that got them—as of the last election, gays can’t even get MARRIED in California!

Announcing ‘The Meaning of POG!’

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 20, 2008
ANNOUNCING THE LAUNCH OF ‘THE MEANING OF POG’

The Internet — kristuphil, inc., the the west coast’s sixth-largest independent creator of uninteresting websites, is proud to announce the launch of The Meaning of POG, the latest in a series of soon-to-be-neglected web ventures providing unhelpful information to a world that didn’t ask for it.

The website, which explores the content and subtext of the 1990s promotional videos Searching for POG and The Legend of POG, fills a void kristuphil’s leader-in-charge saw on the Internet. Explaining his vision for the site, Renophaston said, “Some fan sites start with the fans and build, but the POG franchise has proved itself uniquely resistant to fandom. It’s been over a decade since the last video was released, and I have yet to find it mentioned on the Internet aside from the occasional “for sale” notice. So I decided to start with the site, and we’ll work on developing interest as a secondary concern somewhere down the line.”

Renophaston, creator of The Meaning of POG

The POG franchise, which released its most recent installment over 13 years ago, seems to have slipped under most peoples’ radars. Renophaston explains why he thinks this is the right time to start a community based on the unpopular series. “I think we have to face the fact that POG, the game, is probably not coming back. I personally see that as a good thing, since I think it served mostly as a distraction from the real thrust of the series. But more to the point, we cannot just wait and expect POGs to return to the forefront of public consciousness, carrying Herbie and friends along on its coattails. POG’s fifteen minutes may be over, but the Legend is forever ‘to be continued…’”

Long terms goals of the site include getting the videos released on DVD, organizing a cast reunion/reenactment/sleepover, and the release of the never-produced third entry in the series. But in the meantime, Renophaston is satisfied with the basics. “Right now we’ve just got the fundamentals like a synopsis for each video and an initial FAQ, but once this thing takes off, I’ll probably forget about it.”

The Meaning of POG can be found at themeaningofpog.wordpress.com. kristuphil, inc. is an pwned subsidiary of your mom and can be reached at their parent website, kristuphil.com or at their employee blog, kristuphil is telling you.

Ghost? The results are in! UPDATED!

Remember when I posted that picture and I asked for your help to rationalize away something I feared and didn’t understand? Well, you did it! No, strike that—WE did it! (Seeing as I was responsible for 40% of the votes.) Here are the results of the voting:

• Strange Reports: 1 vote
• A Ghost: 1 vote
• Other: 3 VOTES!

It’s unanimouse with 60% of the popular vote! The so-called “spirit” was actually just something else! I am relieved, because I was worried that it might have been what it was.

UPDATE!

Stop the presses! With your hand if you have to! It was a TIE! Observe the results as they were originally reported by the media:

Misleading Original Results

An obvious victor, right? “Other” is the tallest contestant by far. But… who IS this “Other”? This reporter went deep undercover to uncover the truth: “Other” is none other than a conglomerate of three other candidates (no pun intended!) conspiring together to destroy democracy! Feast on your eyes—it’s the true face of Other:

• ur mom
• it’s just a little gas.
• Stinky smell escaping when you took the sheets off the bed, perhaps.

Now take your gander to this new, updated, honest chart:

Meaningless True Results

It’s a tie! Everybody loses! Reality is ambiguous (in my room at least), and we are probably doomed. Another win for democracy!

Disappointment.

I am disappointed in us.  I thought we could keep a fair and balanced mindset through this election, but unfortunately the voters went to the polls with an obvious bias toward the better candidate.  Where is the level playing field?  Where is the bipartisanship?  This is not fairness, Amerikkka.  A person’s chance at the presidency should not be effected by his political beliefs.  That is PREJUDICE.

Voting is beyond good and evil. Election Day should be about feeling good about yourself for being right about things you don’t understand, not about picking favorites. I think we owe John McCain an apology. This was an important race, and it deserved to be decided by statistical error or divine intervention like when I was a kid.

Possible ghost? Please refute.

Calling all ghost-hunters, UFO-perts, and necrophiliacs, and I’m serious about this.  Going through some boxes, I found this photo I made took a few years ago (January 27, 2001). Flickr has the full-size version. (Sorry about the watermark, but I don’t want people taking credit in case it’s real.)

Reel ghost proof? Choose your own adventure.

Do you see that? On the left. Does it look like a spirit/ghost to you?  I can tell it’s not just some trick, because it doesn’t cast light on the walls.  I don’t know of anything natural that can do that.  Also, when I open the picture up in Photoshop, the spirit is on different layer than the background!  How did that happen?!? My camera (Canon Powershot S10) is too old to support layers. Was there some kind of top-secret military test going on on 1/27/2001? God I hope so. And on the left, look:

Spirit portal?

WTF, is that a spirit portal or something? This is freaking me out. And check out this closeup:

Spirit face comparison.

That’s a face, right? It kind of… looks like me, doesn’t it? Oh jeez…

Anyway, I made a decision a few years back to not believe in ghosts, so I’d really appreciate it if someone could explain this. Hopefully before Halloween. All the experts I’ve contacted refuse to talk to me about it. Is it a weather balloon? I don’t even know!

Sincerely,
Sleepless in Seattle

P.S. – Please vote below, even if you don’t know the answer. A bigger sample size increases accuracy. Hint: you can vote more than once!

UPDATE: The results are in! But don’t let that stop you from voting! Remember—It’s never too late to vote!

Supermans visit Jerkcity

In this week’s installment of Supes On, Supermans Red and Blue take a trip to a poor imitation of Jerkcity. Click here or on the image above to see how it went!

A Day in the Death #4